


Only Love Can Hurt Like This

by EmSwe



Category: Homeland
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, I Love You, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-10-20 18:29:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20679950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmSwe/pseuds/EmSwe
Summary: If you´ve read any of my other fics you know that I get alot of inspo from music, this fic is inspired by the song "Only love can hurt like this" by Paloma Faith.Carrie and Quinn form some sort of relationship, starting as something entirely sexual but will it turn in to more or will it all be to much?MAture/Explicit!





	1. Chapter 1

They lay together in her bed, his arm wrapped around her naked body tracing small circles on the small of her back. Her head rested on his chest, rising up and down as he tried to regain control of his breathing. He turned his head to the side, closed his eyes and breather her in before placing a tender kiss on top of her head.

She felt how her entire body relaxed in his tight embrace and a smile spread across her lips as she thought back to how they ended up here.

¨¨¨¨¨

She was the last one to arrive, she looked at her watch, she wasn’t late, they were just early. Saul was sitting at the head of the table, Dar Adal next to him. Quinn was sitting on the opposite side of them. They were going to go through the final details for the small operation they were about to start. She was just going to go to a bar where they knew their target would be meeting a source. Her job was simply to be at that said bar and find out who their target was meeting.

The three men looked her up and down as she stood in the doorway, no one saying a word.

“What?” She asked annoyed.

“You can´t go to a bar looking like that.” Dar stated in a matter of fact kind of way.

“Why not?” She demanded while looking offended.

The two elder men looked at Quinn for support and he took a deep breath before coming to their aid.

“You can´t go to a bar on a Friday night and expect to blend in wearing a pant suite. If that doesn’t scream government then I don’t know what does.”

“Well, this is what I´ve got. This “operation” of yours wasn´t planed and this is what I came to work in.”

“Luckily, we have thought about that, here.” Adal said and pushed a bag over the table towards her.

She grabbed it and pulled out a black tight-fitting dress, she raised one eyebrow and looked at Dar.

“Really?” She said.

Dar simply gave her a it-wasn’t-me look and pointed towards Quinn who was sitting in his chair grinning. 

“Get dressed Mathison.” Saul said.

10 minutes later she returned to the room, now wearing the dress and a pair of black heels. She had let her hair down and had reapplied her make up. All three men looked her up and down as she reentered the room. She especially felt how Quinn’s eyes looked her up and down, lingering on her bare legs. She smirked at him before sitting down on the empty chair next to him.

As the meeting went on she felt how his leg came closer and closer to hers before it touched hers under the table. But she didn’t move away. She had always found Quinn to be extremely attractive, and the darkness and mystery about him only made him more interesting. She would be lying if she said she´d never imagine what he would be like in bed, she believed that he would be an amazing fuck, rough, hard and intense. Just the way she liked it. So when his knee touched hers, she didn’t move away.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Quinn leaning forward with his right elbow on the table, giving the impression that he was really paying attention to whatever Saul and Dar was saying. He placed his other hand on her knee and slowly started to caress the inside of her leg, from her knee up to her thigh and then back down.

Her breath hitched at the unexpected contact and she turned to look at him, but he just kept his eyes focused on Dar and Saul. His hand found its way under her dress and his fingers brushed against the thin fabric of her lacy underwear.

A grin spread across his face as he felt how wet she already was through her panties, and knowing that he did that to her made him rock hard. He started making small circles on top of her panties and out of the corner of his eye, he saw that she was biting her lip, doing her best to not give them away. He moved her panties over to the side and his finger made contact with her clit. She inhaled sharply and gave him a look that could kill, but he simply ignored her and kept acting like he was really interested in what Saul and Dar was saying.

She felt her orgasm starting to build, she needed to abort this before it claimed her. She already felt like she was doing a bad job concealing what was going on but an orgasm, that she couldn’t possible hide. She abruptly stood up from her chair making it screech, all three men in the room stared at her. Dar and Saul looked confused, while Quinn looked incredibly pleased with himself.

“Excuse me.” She said and left the room.

“What´s going on with her?” Saul asked and Quinn shrugged his shoulders in reply.

“I told you she´d fuck this up.” Dar muttered.

“I´ll go check on her and fill her in on the rest.” Quinn said and left the room.

He found her in the women’s restroom, she was leaning against the sink, breathing heavily, looking at herself in the mirror. She turned around as she heard the door open behind her.

“You mother fucker.”

“Tell me you didn´t like it.” He ordered her as he walked over towards her. In one swift motion he gripped the back of her thighs and lifted her up onto the sink. She immediately spread her legs making room for him to stand in between them. 

“I always imagined that you´d be dominant and rough when it comes to sex.” She whispered as she undid his fly, reached inside and pulled out his rock hard dick.

“Is that so?” He replied with his eyebrow arched as he slid her panties to the side before positioning himself at her entrance.

“Wouldn’t want to disappoint.” He said as he slid into her with one swift motion.

Her head fell back as he started thrusting in and out of her at a rapid speed. He leaned in towards her and started kissing and nibbling her throat. She used one hand to steady herself on the sink while the other hand found his neck and held his lips in place against her skin. She moaned as his skilled fingers found her clit and started rubbing it with just enough pressure.

His lips let go of her throat, this was too good to miss, he thought. He grabbed her neck with one hand, making her look into his eyes as she came. Her breathing was heavy, her collarbone becoming even more visible with each panting breath she took. She came down from her high as he pulled out of her, gripped her hips and lifted her down from the sink and back onto the floor. He turned her around, kicked her feet apart, pulled down her panties to her knees and pulled up her dress to her waist. He pressed her down onto the sink with a hand between the shoulder blades and she happily obeyed. 

She had never been this turned on before, going this here, at work where anyone could walk in on them. She´d always liked that kind of excitement. Add on the fact that this was the most aggressive, possessive and rough sex she´d ever had. With her coworker which in itself was extremely inappropriate, but nothing she hadn’t done before. She hadn’t however ever had that kind of chemistry and sexual tension with anyone else that existed between her and Quinn, it had always just been a matter of time before they would collide and explode.

She was pulled back from her thoughts by the sensation of Quinn once again entering her, he pushed all the way into her with one deep, firm stroke, causing a moan to escape her throat. He gripped a fist of her hair and pulled back, almost bordering on painful, making her look at herself in the mirror as he started pumping in and out of her at a rapid speed. He held her gaze in the mirror as he speeded up his pace even further, their bodies making loud noises as they slammed together.

Another orgasm started to form inside of her, this time much stronger and much more powerful than the last one. A shriek escaped her lips with each thrust, and Quinn’s free hand came up to cover her mouth, muzzling her. They held each other’s gaze as they came, Carrie first with Quinn following just a few thrust later. He let go of her hair and mouth and hovered over her, one hand on either side of her, his breath hot on the back of her neck.

“Wow, that was-“

“Amazing.” He muttered against her skin before his lips placed a soft kiss in the crook of her neck.

“Yeah.” She breathed heavily.

He stepped back from her, rearranged his clothing and zipped his pants back up. She studied him in the mirror as he did, wondering if things would get awkward now, if things would go back to normal, if their relationship had changed forever now. He felt her staring at him and looked up.

“What?”

She rose from her leaning position against the sink, pulled up her panties and fixed her dress before she turned to face him.

“So..uhm…would you want to do that again?” She asked, tilting her head to the side, giving him that flirty look.

“Oh fuck yeah.” He said with the biggest grin before leaving the restroom.

They did it again later that night, in his car after she had completed her mission at the bar. And then the day after in the bathroom at their local Starbucks. And that was how it started, it was as if they couldn’t get enough of each other, they were both craving the other and no matter how often they got together it was never enough.

It took almost two months and countless sexual encounters before they allowed themselves to kiss during the act. That had first happened one night when Quinn had come back from an overseas mission. She didn’t know where he had been or what he had been doing but she had a qualified guess. He had been gone for almost ten days, from what she had heard threw some good poking around, the mission had been a success, although it hadn’t gone as smooth as they had thought it would.

She expected him to text her later that night to get together, after all it had been ten days since they last fucked and that was the longest they had gone without each other since it started. But he didn’t. She figured that he was probably tired and that she would see him the following day at work, and that they would sneak away during lunch like so many times before. But he wasn’t there.

She asked Saul about it, acting as if she simply was just curious since she heard that he was back but hadn’t seen him. Saul told her that Quinn’s mission turned out to be more complicated than what they had expected, he was fine but he had gotten injured. A knot started to form in her stomach as the day went on, she almost texted him at least a dozing times but in the end didn’t send any.

She drove by an Indian restaurant after work on her way over to his place. When he opened the door, she was a bit taken back by the sight in front of her. He had a black eye, a cut on his cheekbone and a split lip. He opened the door to let her in and walked over to sit down in the couch. She noticed that he was limping as he walked, and as he sat down he let out a deep sigh. 

“Jesus Quinn.” She said as she sat down next to him.

“What the fuck happened?”

“Bad intel.” He said as he leaned his head back on the headrest of the couch with his eyes closed.

She slowly reached up and with a featherlike touch caressed his face, ever so gently touching his wounds. His head fell to the side as he observed her, observing him.

“I missed you.” She whispered, barely audible, her eyes locking on his.

His hand gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, before caressing her jawline down to the back of her neck. His eyes searched hers as he slowly pulled her closer to him. Her lips gently touched his, as if she was afraid she would hurt him. His tongue traced her lower lip and she opened her mouth to him, deepening the kiss. She tucked her legs up under her and leaned in to him even further and soon she was straddling him.

His hands followed the curve of her body up to her shoulders and pushed the jacket of off her before finding their way underneath her blouse. He gripped the hem of it and slowly started to pull it over her head but stopped halfway.

“What´s wrong?” She asked as she broke away from his lips.

“I can´t raise my arms that high at the moment.”

She got up from his lap and stood in front of him. She slowly gripped the hem her blouse before she pulled it over her head, letting it fall to the floor. Then she continued on with her pants, slowly undoing the button and the zipper before letting them fall to the floor and stepping out of them.

He couldn’t help but stare, she was beautiful. And even though they had been fucking for the past two months this was the most exposed he had seen her. Usually they would just fuck, it was always urgent, rough, and desperate, they never got fully undressed and they never fucked at either her place or his, so this was new.

She sat back on top of him and slowly reached for the buttons on his shirt and slowly started to undo them one by one before slowly pushing it off of his shoulder. Her breath caught in her throat and her movements stilled as she took in the sight before her. His ribs were bruised, he had a cut on his bicep that had been stitched up and a bigger one on his lower abdomen.

He saw the concerned look in her eyes as she took in the appearance of his injured body.

“It’s not as bad as it looks, you should have seen the other guy.” He said with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood.

“Don´t joke about it.” She whispered.

“Hey.” He said, placing a finger under her chin, making her look at him.

“I´m okay.”

She leaned in and kissed him.

After that night things changed. At times they still had those urgent, rough rendezvous at work, in pubs, in cars but mostly they made slow, passionate love often at her place but sometimes at his. They didn’t go their separate ways once they got their fix like they did before, now they would spend the night together, have coffee in the morning, a shower, a kiss without the pretext of being followed up by sex.

And the thought of that brought her back to where she was now, in this moment, in her bed wrapped in Quinn’s arms.


	2. Chapter 2

A few more weeks passed and then it started, the fear that either she or he would ruin this perfect little make believe world that they had created outside of work. The thought scared her and she began questioning whatever they had going on, started telling herself that it doesn’t mean anything, that it´s simply two lonely people using each other to numb the emptiness.

He noticed that she was slowly distancing herself from him, but he didn’t comment on it, didn’t question it. He always figured that he was just a momentary distraction for her, but he still hated himself for thinking that it could be something more, and her for giving him the false hope. Since the first time he met her he knew that he was be fucked. She broke through the walls that he had spent years building up in just seconds and with each touch he felt himself fall further in love with her and he knew that he would never be able to fall out of love with her again. He was fucked.

He was reading through reports when he heard the door to his office close and he looked up at Carrie, who was standing nervously on the other side of his desk.

“Do you have a minute?”

He studied her face, he knew this was it. He closed his laptop and motion for her to sit down.

“I…uhm…” She started put paused and inhaled loudly, keeping her eyes on her hands that were folded in her lap.

“I think we should stop this…thing…whatever you wanna call it that we have been doing. Before things get complicated.” She slowly raised her eyes to meet his, she was silently hoping that he would say something, do something to make her change her mind. But he didn’t, he just held her gaze before opening up his computer and giving his attention back to the report.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” She repeated quietly before getting up from her chair and headed to the door.

As soon as she closed the door behind her, Quinn picked up the phone and called Dar and asked for a transfer telling him he would be ready to leave right away.

¨¨¨¨¨

That weekend was the worst she´d had in a long time. As soon as she left his office she regretted her decision, when the words had left her mouth she felt as if a knife cut right through her. She wanted to call him and text him multiple times, even started writing texts and dialing his number but in the end she didn’t go through with any of it.

She spent Saturday in bed, feeling utterly heartbroken. She kept telling herself that whatever they had didn’t mean anything, that it hadn’t gotten a hold of her. But why was she crumbling without him? 

She spent Saturday mostly being pissed off.

Her head kept telling her that he obviously didn’t feel anything towards her, otherwise he wouldn’t just have said _“okay”_ when she ended it. He would have fought for her, he would have called maybe even showed up at her door. But he didn’t.

But her heart kept telling her that he couldn’t possible fake all those loving gestures that he had showed towards her when they were together. The way he would look at her when they had their morning coffee, the way he would kiss the top of her head when he thought she was sleeping or the way he would make love to her in the early morning hours. So why the fuck hadn’t he done or said something, anything, to make her change her mind?

When Monday came around she had made up her mind. This was stupid, she had been stupid. They were great together, he made her laugh and she did the same to him. And not just the fake laughs that didn’t reach his eyes but she even managed to earn a few of those oh so rare once that were truly heartfelt. He knew her shit and she his. He accepted her, he never tried to change her, he just accepted her and was always there for her. Had her back no matter what, made her feel secure and loved. How could she be so stupid to throw that way, just because she got cold feet and was scared of her own feelings? Because truth be told, she loved him.

So as soon as she got to the office, she grabbed two cups of coffee and headed to Quinn’s office. She knocked but didn’t wait for him to tell her to enter before she opened the door. She froze as she took in the bare office in front of her. All his stuff was gone. She felt as though her heart broke and stopped at the same time. Where the fuck was he?

She put down the cups on the side board next to the door and walked hurriedly over to Saul’s office. She stormed in to his office without knocking.

“Where´s Quinn?” She demanded.

“Good morning to you to.” He said without looking up from his papers.

“Where the fuck is Quinn?” She seethed. The tone of his voice made him look up, take of his glasses and placed them on the desk.

“I don´t know where he is. Dar told me he had to go away for a while, some sort of mission I would presume.”

“When will he be back?”

“Carrie…”

“When will he be back?”

“Dar said it’s indefinite.” She turned on her heels and stormed out of the office.

She strode over to Dar´s office, his secretary tried to stop her from barging in but to no avail.

“Where is he?” Dar looked up and gave her one of those looks that she hated, the I-know-something-you-don’t-look.

“He´s gone. Guess he finally had enough of your bullshit.”

“You fucker, tell me where the fuck he is!” She screamed at him.

“It´s okay, Marie. Could you shut the door please?” Dar told his secretary who was looking on with an aghast expression on her face. 

“Where is he?”

“He specifically asked me not to tell you where he would be going, so you can scream as much as you like. I won’t tell you.”

“When will he be back?”

“To be honest, I don’t know if he will be. He asked to be transferred, to use another country as his home base.”

“You need to tell him to come back.” She knew she sounded desperate, but to be honest she was.

“I won’t do that. It’s been obvious to me that you have been his weakness since he set foot on your team. He used to be the best on _MY_ team, he had his missions, he completed them no questions asked. He shut down, he was cold, a machine. And then you came along, and all of the sudden he started questioning what he was doing, what _WE_ were doing. He would rather op for staying behind on Saul’s team then going on missions with his team. All because of you. You fucked with his entire being, everything he has worked for, everything he believed in. I don’t know what you did to push him away, I´m just happy he finally saw though your bullshit. Now, get the fuck out of my office.”

She felt how the tears started to burn her eyes, she needed to leave, she would never grant Dar the satisfaction of knowing that he got to her. But he had been right, she saw that now. He would do anything for her, would protect her at all cost, because he loved her. And she just fucked it up, she had never felt this intensely about anyone before, could actually see herself with him for the long haul. And now he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

She hurried out of the office and to her car, on her way there she dialed his number but of course it had been disconnected. She drove way over the speed limit over to his apartment but that didn’t yield anything, he was gone. She stopped at the liquorstore on her way home, got herself a bottle of vodka and drove home with tears streaming down her face. How the fuck could she be so stupid? Why would she ruin the only good thing in her life, the only good thing she had had in years, probably ever, because she was scared? She had never felt as strongly towards anyone as she did towards Quinn and that terrified her, and what petrified her even more was that she knew he felt the same. She was sure he did, so why the fuck had he just up and left?

Days turned in to weeks and weeks to months and soon he had been gone for 3 months. She thought that her broken heart would have mended itself by now, that she would have gotten herself together and would have forgotten about him and what they had. That was the way it had gone all those times before when she broke things of with other guys.

But this was different, she had never been this destroyed after she broke things of with anyone before, normally she would just walk away and never look back. She wouldn’t care, she would just move on to the next best guy that came along. But she couldn’t do that now, all she thought about was Quinn and the more time that past the more pain she felt.

The first few days she held up hope that he would come back, he wouldn’t just leave. But when weeks turned to months she realized that he wasn’t coming back, he was truly gone and she might never see him again. All her life she had been scared of being alone, always thought that no one would be able to handle her, wouldn’t be able to accept all of her. But he did. He had seen her at her worst and still stuck around, did all he could to help her and be there for her. And he still choose to be with her. He was her chance of a real life with someone, someone who would love her no matter what, who didn’t try to change her or try to make her into something she wasn’t.

“Carrie, can I see you in my office?” Saul asked her one afternoon. She just nodded and followed him in, closing the door behind her before taking a seat opposite him.

“What´s going on with you? You have been…off…lately.”

“Nothing.” She mumbled and got up from the chair and turned towards the door. She didn’t have the energy to deal with this.

“I´m not stupid, you know. I know it has something to do with Quinn leaving.” Carrie stopped dead in her tracks and turned back to him.

“Do you know where he is?”

“Officially no, unofficially I would suggest that you take some time off to do some travelling. I hear that Germany is very pretty this time of the year.” He opened one of his drawers and took out a piece of paper with some scribbling on it and held it out to her. She stepped back up to his desk and grabbed the note and looked at it. An address in Germany.

“I expect you to sort this out and that you´re back to normal when you return.”

She gave him a small smile and left his office.

¨¨¨¨

Fifteen hours later and she was in Germany. She took a cab to her hotel, checked in and dropped off her bags before she got back in to a cab and gave him the address on the note. Twenty minutes later she was at the said address. The apartment building had a locked door with a code on it, but just as she stepped up to the door a tall blonde woman in a black suit stepped out and held the door open for her.

“Danke.” Carrie said and headed to the stairs. As she walked up to the third floor she felt how her heart started pounding faster and faster with each step she took. She got to the third floor, looked down at her note, apartment 302. She looked at the numbers on the doors and then she found it. She took a deep breath, exhaled loudly and knocked. It felt as if an eternity passed, but then the door opened. She felt her breath hitch at the sight of him as he stood in the doorway with a towel wrapped around his waist and his chest bare.

It took him a minute to register that she was actually there, the women he had ran across the world to get away from, to get over. The woman who had made him give up his entire life back in the US so that he could try and find a way to move on from her. The women he once was willing to give up everything for, the women he once loved. He regained his composer, clenched his jaws and looked at her, hoping that he was portraying his best arrogant and indifferent self.

“What are you doing here?”

“I…I needed to talk to you. You disconnected your phone and left without a word. I-“

“What makes you think I wanna talk to you? Who told you where I was anyway?” He saw that he hurt her with his harsh statement, but he didn’t really care. She hurt him, broke him, when she ended things. She had absolutely no right to show up here demanding to see or talk to him, turning his new life that he created for himself upside down. 

“No one-“

“Don’t lie.” He bit back.

“Saul.” She said, she tried to read his eyes but all she saw was anger and maybe…hurt?

“I fucked up, Quinn. I fucked up so badly, I never should have ended things between us. What we had was good, so good! And I got scared that I would fuck it up, which I did. I got scared because I have never felt the way I feel about you towards anybody before. I feel like since you left, I´ve just crumbled, I feel like I crave you, your presence, your touch. I feel lost without you. I need you, I love you!” She hadn’t even noticed the tears that had started falling from her eyes as she spoke.

“Hey babe!” She heard from behind her, she quickly reached up and wiped the tears from her face as she turned towards the voice. It was the women from before, the tall, blonde one in a black formal pant suite.

“I forgot my access card.” She explained as she stepped up next to Carrie. Her eyes went from Carrie to Quinn. She could see that she had interrupted something, the women had traces of tears on her face even though she had tried to hid it. And Quinn had a look on his face that she had never seen on him before, it was as if he was frozen, speechless.

“Is everything okay?” She asked carefully.

Quinn quickly found his bearing and answered.

“Fine, here.” He said and handed her the card that laid on the dresser next to the door. He saw that her eyes darted from him to Carrie and then back again.

“I´m Astrid.” She induced herself, and stretched out her hand when it became clear that Quinn wasn’t going introduce them.

“Carrie.” The woman answered and shook her hand.

“Okay, I´m gonna go.” Carrie said, turned around and walked quickly down the stairs with tears now freely falling from her eyes.

“Who was that?” She heard on her way down.

“No one.”


	4. Chapter 4

Once she got back to her hotel room she went straight to the mini bar, found a miniature bottle of vodka and tossed it back in an instant. She bent back down into the fridge and found a Jack Daniels bottle and just as she screwed the lid off there was a loud knock on the door. She exhaled loudly, put the bottle down on the counter and opened the door. Quinn pushed passed her as soon as she had answered the door and she closed it behind him and turned towards him.

“You have no fucking right to tell me you have feelings for me! I was doing great with Astrid before I found out about you!” He screamed at her.

“You think it was easy for me to see that you´re with someone else?” She yelled back.

“Well you should have said something before! You were the one who ended things between us, you did that! You were the one who decided that whatever we had wasn’t good enough for you, that I wasn’t good enough for you!”

“I didn’t know how I felt before! Why didn’t you say anything to me?” He stopped pacing and looked at her.

“I…I didn’t think I needed to tell you, I thought you knew! But it doesn’t matter anymore, I don’t need this right now! I´m with Astrid now, I´m happy!” He had taken a few steps towards her as he spoke.

“So what? You´re just going to ignore what we have, hide away your feelings or whatever the fuck it is you feel for me?” She moved closer to him as she spoke, she had gone from sad to absolutely furious. Why the fuck hadn’t he told her how _he_ felt?

He smirked at her, while shaking his head.

“I´ve been doing that since the first day I met you.” He seethed through his teeth.

“I´ve gotten pretty goddamn good at it.”

She held his gaze while searching his eyes. She stepped closer to Quinn closing the space between them, she reached out carefully towards him as if afraid that he might run away if she moved to quickly. She moved her hand up to his cheek and gently caressed it before going around his neck.

“What if I don’t want you to hide it anymore?” She whispered while looking deep into his eyes and pulling him closer to her. She gently touched her lips to his in a questioning, slow and tender kiss. She felt how her heart sank as he didn’t respond to the kiss, she pulled away and looked at him but she couldn’t read his expression. She looked away and down on the ground as she started to move away from him.

She walked back over to the kitchen counter, needing to get a hold of the Jack Daniels bottle that she didn’t get around to previously. She placed both of her hands on the countertop while trying to get a grip on her feelings. She had obviously misread him and the situation. He had moved on, she truly had fucked it up. She heard him moving her, and then felt his presence right behind her.

His hand gently moved her hair over to one side, and she felt his hot breath on the back of her neck. His lips softly made contact with her skin and he placed open mouth kisses from the crook of her neck and up to her jaw. She let her head fall to the side, giving him better access to her, as she closed her eyes savoring the feeling of his lips on her body. Her heart was rising under his touch as his hands found their way to her hips and touched the bare skin between her pants and shirt, sending shivers through her entire body. 

She slowly turned around in his arms and their lips met in a hot, passionate kiss. His tongue was probing at her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to him. His hands took a firmer grip on her hips and lifted her up on the kitchen counter. She instantly parted her legs for him to stand in between them and wrapped her arms around his neck.

His hands quickly found their way underneath her shirt and he grabbed the hem and pulled it over her head. She swiftly had his buttons undone and pushed the shirt of off his shoulders. She ran her hands all over his torso, needing to feel his naked body under her hands again.

His lips left hers and started traveling down her neck while his hands undid the clasp of her bra and throw it to the wind. He leaned forward and kissed the top of her breast before finding her nipple, kissing, licking and biting it. A moan escaped her lips as her hand found his neck keeping him in place.

“Quinn.” She whispered, but he didn’t seem to register her.

“Quinn.” He let go of her nipple and traced kisses back up to her lips.

“What?” He murmured against her mouth.

“What about Astrid?” He broke away from her and took a small step backwards so he could really look at her. She felt slightly self-conscious as she sat on the counter naked from the waist up as he was looking intently at her.

“What about her?” She crossed her arms over her chest to try to cover up slightly.

“I don’t want this if it’s just going to be a one-time thing.” She said while holding his gaze.

“So what do you want?”

“I want this, you, us. For real this time.”

“You want lets grow old together-get a house-and live happily ever after- real?” He teased her. 

“Like that.” She said echoing his words from when they first met while smiling that deadly smile of hers, which he mirrored back.

“So what about Astrid?” She asked again.

“It´s always been you Carrie, always have always will.” He said as he closed the distance between them again.

He felt her smile against his lips as they connected once again in a passionate kiss. His hands took a hold of her hips, found the waistband of her pants and pulled them down along with her panties in one swift movement. She used her arms to rise herself up off the counter so that he could pull them off. He stepped back in between her legs, took a firm grip on her butt and moved her closer to the edge of the counter. He used his right hand to push her upper body down to rest on the counter as he bent down, squatting in between her legs. She leaned back on her elbows so that she could watch what was about to happen, the anticipation enough to make her soaking wet.

He looked her right in the eyes as his tongue made contact with her wet entrance. He slowly licked her up and down before settling on her clit, kissing, licking and gently sucking. She was gone in just seconds, moaning loudly, panting heavily and shattering under his touch. His finger came up to her entrance, slowly circling before entering her, a second finger followed shorty making her moan even louder.

“Fuck, Quinn. Don´t you dare fucking stop.” She moaned, making him smile as he speeded up the movement of both his fingers and tongue. A few more flicks of the tongue and she was gone, screaming out his name as her body spasms. He trailed kissed from her pussy and back up to her lips, she could taste herself on his tongue.

“Fuck I missed you.” She panted once she caught her breath slightly making him chuckle.

“Yeah? So you didn’t just miss my excellent skills in the bedroom?” He teased her.

“That to. But I really did miss you, you idiot.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“I want you to say it.”

She reached out to him, wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him closer.

“I.Fucking.Love.You.Peter.Quinn.” She spelled it out for him in between kisses. She pulled away and looked at him, he had this stupid looking grin on his face.

“Now, are you going to fuck me or what?”

“No.”

“What?!” She said and started to pull away from him but he held her in place.

“I´m not going to fuck you, I´m going to make love to you.” He stated confidently before he lifted her up from the counter, she wrapped her legs around his hips as he started walking towards the bedroom. Her lips found his earlobe and she started sucking and biting it before kissing his neck. He gently laid her down on the bed and hovered over her, holding himself up with his elbows on either side of her. Their lips didn’t break apart as she reached down and started undoing his belt buckle, button and zipper before trying to push his pants and boxer briefs of him. He broke the kiss and removed the pants the rest of the way and his shirt before returning to her. Her warm hand found his already rock hard dick and lined him up against her entrance before he slowly pushed inside of her.

A loud exhale escaped her lips at the feeling of him finally being inside of her again and he stilled for a few seconds letting her get used to him. He started moving in and out of her, staying deep and with a slow pace. One of her arms were wrapped around his neck while the other one roamed his back, pressing his body as close to hers as possible. Their lips broke a part as her breath became shallower as her orgasm approached, and he moved down from her lips burying himself in the crook of her neck.

“Right there.” She panted, making him speed up his pace slightly, and increasing the force of his thrusts. He felt how her entire body tensed up as her orgasm rolled over her, and smirked to himself as he watched her descend from her high. He was the one to bring such a pleasure to her, finally after longing for her for so long, she was his. Now and forever. She fucking told him she loved him. The possessiveness he suddenly felt fueled his sexual desire for her even more, and he knew he would be able to keep this slow lovemaking going. He needed more.

He pulled out of her and flipped her over to her stomach with one swift movement, nudging her legs further apart with his knee as he settled himself in between her legs. He hovered over her and steadied himself on his hands on either side on her head as he pushed himself into her once again.

She felt how his entire aura changed as he flipped her over, and she knew that she was in for a rough ride. The slow pace was gone and swapped for desperation, needing to have her, possess her. Her arousal grew with the expectation of what’s to come as he entered her once more. He didn’t give her time to adjust this time, not that she needed it, put started pumping in and out of her at a rapid pace. She tried to raise herself up on her knees but he used one of his strong arms to keep her flat on her stomach. He lowered himself further down on to her body, holding himself up on one elbow as his other hand came around her chest, close to her throat and firmly grabbed her opposite shoulder, holding her still. His pelvic bone smacked against her ass as he thrusted hard and deep into her, making her whimper beneath him with each thrust.

He quickly sat back up on his knees, gripped her hips and pulled her up on her knees, she tried to raise herself up on her hands as well but he pushed her back down on her stomach so that she was arching up against him. He lifted one of his legs and sat his foot down on the bed next to her leg, making it possible for him to go even deeper as he started thrusting in to her again. She had to cover her mouth with her own hand to keep from screaming out loud at the new depth this position created. His left hand had a tight grip on her hip, she would probably have a bruise there in the morning, making her body counteract his motions. He leaned forward over her back and placed a hot open mouth kiss on her shoulder blade, as he slipped his right arm once again around her chest and onto the opposite shoulder. He motioned for her to sit back up on her knees by pushing her back with his arm around her chest.

His breath was hot on her neck as his breaths were becoming shallower, indicating that he was getting close. The hand on her hip travelled down the front of her stomach and down to her pussy, quickly finding her clit before he started circling it with firm pressure. His other hand let go of her shoulder and gripped her throat, he put a slight pressure on her making it slightly difficult for her to breath. Her hand that had been smothering her cries of pleasure left her mouth and she wrapped it around his neck as she moaned out loud.

“Holy fuck, Quinn.” She moaned just as her body started to shake from the violent orgasm that ran through her body and at the same time Quinn groaned against the crook of her neck as him warmth spread inside of her. He let his head fall back as he struggled to catch his breath and they stayed like that for a few seconds, both trying to catch their breaths and regaining control of their rapidly beating hearts.

“Fuck me.” He breathed as his hand fell from her throat to her waist pressing her tight against his body, as he placed a kiss on her neck. He pushed his weight onto her back making her fall forward on to the bed with him once again hovering over her. She turned her head to the side as she still was panting heavily.

“That was-“ She started but didn’t have the energy to finish the sentence, she heard Quinn huff a laugh at her exhaustion as he bent forward and kissed her lips.

“Yeah.” He breathed as he slid out of her and fell down next to her. She turned towards him, and popped herself up on his chest and started tracing circles lacily on his chest.

“So we´re really doing this?” He asked her finally. She looked up at him, smiling before she reached up and kissed him.

“We are.” She concluded without any hesitation.

“You better be fucking sure, cause I´m not going through this second thoughts thing again.”

“I am. I love you.” She said quietly as she looked deep into his eyes.

“You better.” He said to her while grinning, earning him a look that could kill.

“You do realize that I´ve told you several times that I love you but you haven’t said it once.” He looked at her before surprising her by rolling her over on her back, holding himself up on his elbows above her. He leaned forward and softly kissed her cheek.

“I love you.” He whispered and then bent down and kissed her neck.

“I love you.” He kissed her nose.

“I love you” He kissed her lips.

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might recognize some of the dialog, guess from what show! ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Engligh is not my first language, but I hope there´s not to many mess ups! 
> 
> Comments are deeply appreciated :)


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